On Friendship

It is a strange thing, this bond between people it can be forged out of many materials. Shared experience, pain or happenstance. These, the later are the more tenuous of bonds not anchored in something that gives it weight, substance. The latter are more easily cast aside due to mixed or missed expectations there are gaps in the weave like a poorly thatched roof it may shade you from the sun but not from the storm of life. The former really are forged, forged continuously, constantly being tested, being folded into and onto itself. Hammered and beaten and folded again maybe by time, situations the strain is what continues to make them stronger than they were before. These steel friendships get us through the worst of times. The people we call to guard us from ourselves from the parts of life we cannot control, have lost control of. They steady us in our dark hours and reflect us in the shining moments of accomplishment or good fortune. They are the buoys of our former selves parts of life that guide us when we have lost our way. Sometimes cold, stark reminders of how lost we really are without them. These friendships span decades, distance and disenchantments. Are they steel or are they silk?

Only after the trials and tribulations can it emerge. By recognizing the difference we are granted the ability to distinguish to recognize and to give appropriate measure to these friendships and only by them can we be set free from the forced niceties of being friendly to everyone, of hiding our disdain for whom you have no connection, acquaintance only. Subject to no duty of politeness but only passing indifference. I do not wish these people harm however I refuse to imbue the circumstantial relationships with the facade of friendship. I do not require justification for this because it is better to be up front rather than having to reject their friendly advances because there is nothing there.

**Disclaimer- I wrote this at 4 am and i have attempted to edit it somewhat. I do apologize for the run on sentences and probable poorly forged ideas.

I really think that whom ever decided to connect eating wings and drinking beer is a genius and I would totally buy them a beer. It is a truly american concept, one of the rare ones that I really enjoy. Wings, beer and baseball. Also the yankees made the playoffs thank god. now lets clench the division. i had more insights on my drive home from the island but I forgot them for the moment.

e⋅piph⋅a⋅ny

–noun, plural -nies.

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

So I am driving in my car on my way to work, and I have a epiphany. I haven't had one this big in a long while. It has everything to do with work and nothing to do with anything else yet with one thought I find a weird peace with the hell that is my job. The hell which I created for myself, by a confluence of events and emotions. Like running into a wall and having the wall stop you dead in your tracks. Although it really doesn't hurt all that much anymore. I feel like things need to filter down, ruminate, saturate to work themselves out in my head like a background process on a computer. It is possible that my impending vacation, my first real vacation from this job in over a year has something to do with it. I would think that I was introspective, maybe not as critically analytical as i could be, usually just critical. I also feel like that I am on the other side of this really bad fog that I have been stuck in for a while, almost three months.

introspection is a bitch but the alternative is worse.

what is a soapbox?

Wikipedia and I will quote here says "A soapbox is a raised platform on which one stands to make an impromptu speech, often about a political subject... The term originates from when speakers would stand on a wooden box meant for holding soap."

Now while I do have a penchant for political rabble rousing that will not be my only topic of conversation. I think that to express ones ideas is one of the most important things we can do as individuals. Not that my opinion really matters but this is an experiment. A few things I like to get on my soapbox about : Baseball, Politics/Current Events, Equal Rights, Technology other random subjects.

I really do not know why I adopted the handle soapboxx for twitter, gaming ect. I just seem to end up on my soapbox and the people around me do not seem to understand my vehement views on most things nor my desire to express my views about them. I am going to give this a go and hopefully I can keep it up.

stay tuned.